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The 4 Keys And 4 Chemicals

The 4 Keys And 4 Chemicals

  • The Personal Keys
    • Purpose – Dopamine (Important goal we work toward) – Oxytocin if the purpose is good and outside of ourselves. Serotonin if it is a purpose we are proud of and other will help us succeed at.
    • Connect – Serotonin & Oxytocin
    • Progress – Dopamine, endorphins
    • Control – It is the regulator. We can’t trigger any of the above if we have no control.
  • 4 Chemical Keys we produce that control our moods
    • Endorphins – Mask pain, encourage physical exertion, keep us going when exhausted, and laughing!
    • Dopamine – This is a reward for making progress on something we see as important. Complete a task, finish a project.
      • Goals must be tangible – see them.
      • The Bad: Highly addictive – Also produced by social media, gambling, alcohol, cocaine, nicotine, most addictive drugs. Even drugs that are not addictive themselves may affect dopamine levels (marijuana is example)
      • It is instantaneous & short lived – hence addictive
      • Long term effect is opposite, causing increased stimulating need.
    • Serotonin – The Leadership Chemical – The feeling of pride. What we get when we think others respect us. Makes us feel strong and confident.
      • It is created when we interact with others for good.
        • When others help us move toward accomplishing something good we get a shot of serotonin because they are expressing that we and our cause are worthwhile.
        • When we do something to help someone else, or someone we have helped accomplishes something good and worthwhile, we get a shot of serotonin.  
        • It is boosted both in crowds and in performers during shows etc.
      • Drugs to boost serotonin are among the most prescribed in the world.
    • Oxytocin – The Love Chemical We Love – creates the social groups and is why we need those social groups.
      • This is the feeling of Love, Friendship and Deep Trust
        • It is long term and fueled by long-term activity
        • Good physical contact increases effectiveness (handshake)
      • It is release with acts of generosity and good will.
        • We get a hit when we do the act, but we even get a hit when we see such an act being done.
        • Hence people who volunteer and generally much happier people.
          • As part of the group they get to both be generous and see those around them being generous.
          • This actually “snowballs” as we end up making friends with the people we “do good” with and witness each other doing good even more often. T

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The 4 Keys and Chemicals

The “Gloom Room” Or The “Bloom Room”

The “Gloom Room” Or The “Bloom Room”

We all have 2 rooms in our hearts & minds that we put stuff in. On e is the Gloom Room.  This is where we put the bad things people have done to us, the bad things we’ve done, and the bad stuff that just happens. Life happens.

The second room is the Bloom Room  This is where we put the good things people have done for us, the good we’ve done and the good stuff that just happens. Again, Life happens!

When we have an event we choose which room to put it in. If the event is important, I suggest we actually imagine actually hanging the event on the wall in whichever room we choose. Most events can go in both rooms – but we usually don’t do that. You can move events from one room to the other over time, and that happens a lot.

Here is the key: It doesn’t really matter which room has more memories in it, it only matters which room you spend your time in.

Time is our most precious commodity so where we spend it has a huge influence on our moods and attitudes. We also assume what we tell ourselves is true – which is not really true – so what we tell ourselves and think about makes a huge difference. You clearly can decide, which room you spend your time in, which room you are thinking about, what events you are reliving!

So I strongly suggest you do the following exercise – download the worksheet or just use paper – keep a binder – in your handwriting.

  1. Make list of some memories or events in each room.
  2. Take time, even set alarms if you want, and ask yourself which room you are in. Especially when you are feeling down.
  3. Write a clear description of both rooms. Do this in your own handwriting and make it vivid. To help you get started, my “room descriptions” are below.

My Gloom Room: It’s a big room, cold, dark. Not a cave, more like a morgue. It’s smells like mold and the only sounds are some bats and the groans of man. The groans come from a cross in the center of the room . The man on the cross is barely alive. He is bloodied & beaten beyond recognition and every time I walk in the room he looks at me and I can’t help but lock eyes with him. I’m holding a whip & a hammer in one hand and my memory in the other. After looking at the man on the cross and what’s in my hands, I just toss my meaningless memory on the pile of junk by the door and walk back out. The guy on the cross grimaces at me.

My Bloom Room: It’s actually a courtyard built around the entrance of a cave. The cave has a stone that once covered the opening but it’s cast aside now. There’s lots of plants and trees etc. I even added a pool a while back. There’s benches, open spaces, and walls covered with memories all over the place. Every time I walk in a football comes flying at me and I have to make a one handed catch while I hold the newest memory in my other hand. I smile at the man who threw the ball and he waves a wounded hand back at me and smiles a huge smile back. I can see the scars on his forehead but the thorns are gone. I holler “I’m gonna drop one of these sometime.” and he reminds me “Memories don’t break.” When I’m in that room I literally play catch or go swimming with my friend Jesus and we talk about anything and everything – even the painful stuff. The room is full of life, and love & who wouldn’t want to go there.

Download Gloom & Bloom Rooms Worksheet
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Life Should Be An Adventure

Introduction:
My personal life has gone from very depressed to a tremendous adventure. These are some of my stories and tips. I’m not a therapist or anything, just a common guy hoping that my experience may help someone else.

Links to published follow-ups. New videos will be added to the bottom.

  1. Kick Starter: The Art Of Starting Well
  2. The Best Advice Ever Was A Blank Sheet Of Paper
  3. The “Gloom Room” Or The “Bloom Room”
  4. The 4 Keys & 4 Chemicals
Book Review: Extreme Ownership | How U.S. Navy Seals Lead And Win

Book Review: Extreme Ownership | How U.S. Navy Seals Lead And Win

BOOK REVIEW

I Don’t Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist

Title: Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win
Author:  Jocko Willink and Leaf Babin
1-5 Star Rating: 5 Stars
Review by: Dan Muhlenkamp

Why did you read it?
I admire Navy Seals and the book is very highly rated as a leadership book.

What did you get out of it?
Some of the best general principles to lead people and organizations to perform at a very high level.

List what someone can expect to learn:
The authors take a situation that occurred in a battle situation in Iraq and use it to make a point about leadership or strategy. They then give you a real life situation in the business world where the same principles applied. They repeat this process for each of their major points.  Very practical and useful.

Summarize, who would you recommend the book/video/course to? What situations?
The book is great for anyone who is ready to adapt strategies and processes to perform better themselves or to lead other people or entire organizations to perform better.

Book Review: Leaders Eat Last | Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

Book Review: Leaders Eat Last | Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

BOOK REVIEW

Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t

Title: Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t
Author: Simon Sinek
1-5 Star Rating: 5 Stars
Review by: Dan Muhlenkamp

Why did you read it?
I read anything I can written by Simon Sinek

What did you get out of it?
I consider this the premier book that defines what a leader is supposed to be.

List what someone can expect to learn:

  • Simon Sinek starts the book out with this quote, and then goes on to explain why, and how, we make this a reality.“Leaders are the ones who run headfirst into the unknown. They rush toward the danger. They put their own interests aside to protect us or to pull us into the future. Leaders would sooner sacrifice what is theirs to save what is ours. And they would never sacrifice what is ours to save what is theirs. This is what it means to be a leader. It means they choose to go first into danger, headfirst toward the unknown. And when we feel sure they will keep us safe, we will march behind them and work tirelessly to see their visions come to life and proudly call ourselves their followers.”

Summarize, who would you recommend the book/video/course to? What situations?
This book is for everyone. We all lead someone and when we lead we need to be excellent at it. It is best for us, and best for those we lead.

Book Review: Getting Things Done

Book Review: Getting Things Done

BOOK REVIEW

Getting Things Done

Title:  Getting things Done
Author: David Allen
1-5 Star Rating: 5 Stars
Review by: Dan Muhlenkamp

Why did you read it?
I was trying to get more done in less time

What did you get out of it?
Quite a few specific strategies for getting more organized and more efficient.

List what someone can expect to learn:
The author really does a good job of giving you tools, ideas and processes to be better organized and get more done. This is not a “fluff” book with lofty ideas you can’t actually apply to real life.

Summarize, who would you recommend the book/video/course to? What situations?
This book is best for people with some basic computer skills. Most of the tools and ideas are designed for smartphone or computer usage.

Book Review: Mindset | The New Psychology of Success

Book Review: Mindset | The New Psychology of Success

BOOK REVIEW

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Title: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
Author:  Carol Dweck
1-5 Star Rating: 5 Stars
Review by: Dan Muhlenkamp

Why did you read it?
It was recommended to me by someone.

What did you get out of it?
The importance of being able to change and how to get better at it.

List what someone can expect to learn:

  • The 2 Mindsets people have
    • Fixed Mindset – Strong resistance to change.
    • Growth Mindset – Changing is growing
  • How to recognize which you are
  • How to become better at changing
  • How your attitude can make your life much more enjoyable.

Summarize, who would you recommend the book/video/course to? What situations?
Everyone – we all have to change!  Especially recommended for those who teach or lead others.