Purpose – Dopamine (Important goal we work toward) – Oxytocin if the purpose is good and outside of ourselves. Serotonin if it is a purpose we are proud of and other will help us succeed at.
Connect – Serotonin & Oxytocin
Progress – Dopamine, endorphins
Control – It is the regulator. We can’t trigger any of the above if we have no control.
4 Chemical Keys we produce that control our moods
Endorphins – Mask pain, encourage physical exertion, keep us going when exhausted, and laughing!
Dopamine – This is a reward for making progress on something we see as important. Complete a task, finish a project.
Goals must be tangible – see them.
The Bad: Highly addictive – Also produced by social media, gambling, alcohol, cocaine, nicotine, most addictive drugs. Even drugs that are not addictive themselves may affect dopamine levels (marijuana is example)
It is instantaneous & short lived – hence addictive
Long term effect is opposite, causing increased stimulating need.
Serotonin – The Leadership Chemical – The feeling of pride. What we get when we think others respect us. Makes us feel strong and confident.
It is created when we interact with others for good.
When others help us move toward accomplishing something good we get a shot of serotonin because they are expressing that we and our cause are worthwhile.
When we do something to help someone else, or someone we have helped accomplishes something good and worthwhile, we get a shot of serotonin.
It is boosted both in crowds and in performers during shows etc.
Drugs to boost serotonin are among the most prescribed in the world.
Oxytocin – The Love Chemical We Love – creates the social groups and is why we need those social groups.
This is the feeling of Love, Friendship and Deep Trust
It is long term and fueled by long-term activity
Good physical contact increases effectiveness (handshake)
It is release with acts of generosity and good will.
We get a hit when we do the act, but we even get a hit when we see such an act being done.
Hence people who volunteer and generally much happier people.
As part of the group they get to both be generous and see those around them being generous.
This actually “snowballs” as we end up making friends with the people we “do good” with and witness each other doing good even more often. T
We all have 2 rooms in our hearts & minds that we put stuff in. On e is the Gloom Room. This is where we put the bad things people have done to us, the bad things we’ve done, and the bad stuff that just happens. Life happens.
The second room is the Bloom RoomThis is where we put the good things people have done for us, the good we’ve done and the good stuff that just happens. Again, Life happens!
When we have an event we choose which room to put it in. If the event is important, I suggest we actually imagine actually hanging the event on the wall in whichever room we choose. Most events can go in both rooms – but we usually don’t do that. You can move events from one room to the other over time, and that happens a lot.
Here is the key: It doesn’t really matter which room has more memories in it, it only matters which room you spend your time in.
Time is our most precious commodity so where we spend it has a huge influence on our moods and attitudes. We also assume what we tell ourselves is true – which is not really true – so what we tell ourselves and think about makes a huge difference. You clearly can decide, which room you spend your time in, which room you are thinking about, what events you are reliving!
So I strongly suggest you do the following exercise – download the worksheet or just use paper – keep a binder – in your handwriting.
Make list of some memories or events in each room.
Take time, even set alarms if you want, and ask yourself which room you are in. Especially when you are feeling down.
Write a clear description of both rooms. Do this in your own handwriting and make it vivid. To help you get started, my “room descriptions” are below.
My Gloom Room: It’s a big room, cold, dark. Not a cave, more like a morgue. It’s smells like mold and the only sounds are some bats and the groans of man. The groans come from a cross in the center of the room . The man on the cross is barely alive. He is bloodied & beaten beyond recognition and every time I walk in the room he looks at me and I can’t help but lock eyes with him. I’m holding a whip & a hammer in one hand and my memory in the other. After looking at the man on the cross and what’s in my hands, I just toss my meaningless memory on the pile of junk by the door and walk back out. The guy on the cross grimaces at me.
My Bloom Room: It’s actually a courtyard built around the entrance of a cave. The cave has a stone that once covered the opening but it’s cast aside now. There’s lots of plants and trees etc. I even added a pool a while back. There’s benches, open spaces, and walls covered with memories all over the place. Every time I walk in a football comes flying at me and I have to make a one handed catch while I hold the newest memory in my other hand. I smile at the man who threw the ball and he waves a wounded hand back at me and smiles a huge smile back. I can see the scars on his forehead but the thorns are gone. I holler “I’m gonna drop one of these sometime.” and he reminds me “Memories don’t break.” When I’m in that room I literally play catch or go swimming with my friend Jesus and we talk about anything and everything – even the painful stuff. The room is full of life, and love & who wouldn’t want to go there.
This bit of advice came to me at a time when I slept with a knife under my pillow and was willing to do anything to stop the chaos that was going on our home. God used a blank sheet of paper to change everything for the rest of my life.
Introduction: My personal life has gone from very depressed to a tremendous adventure. These are some of my stories and tips. I’m not a therapist or anything, just a common guy hoping that my experience may help someone else.
Links to published follow-ups. New videos will be added to the bottom.
We got some GREAT news. On Saturday Feb 24th 7:00 PM in the Niswonger Performing Arts Center in Van Wert, Alexis will be competing as a finalist in the Ohio Has Talent contest sponsored by Cardinal Hospice. She will be singing and dancing the Judy Garland version of “I Got Rhythm” (Video of Judy Here). If you would like to see Alexis’ latest choir performance click here.
The winner of the event is chosen by audience vote and yes, I’m trying to help her get as many votes as possible!
I have purchased the majority of a balcony section so her fans and supporters could all sit together and have a great time. The tickets are only $12 each and we would love to have as many of you show up as possible. If I need more tickets, I’ll get more!
This Is What I Need You To Do!
Share this with everyone you know! (seriously – pass it on)
Contact your friends and family to make a party of the event!